Defining The Suck
Today and every day you are going to wake up, walk outside and enter a world filled with different kinds of people with different thought sequences, different pasts and different paradigms. There is not going to by any perfect situations to guide you. Your attitude will be tested, your opinions and feelings will be challenged by others and someone at sometime is going to attempt and crush your personal world view. Welcome to the Suck. Welcome to an arena that can be used for personal unfoldment.
Life is supposed to present challenges (The Suck) for our benefit. Situations arise as we move about the world in action. People we work with, fragile tools and sturdy machines, our feelings—all of these appurtenances of life will at some time or another change shape or break, leaving us slightly confused or upset. Embracing the suck means getting comfortable with life’s hard-hitting nature and even holding out your chin while saying “Hit me with your best shot.” Once we accept the reality of our own uniqueness and can rationally express ourselves without excessive emotion we can move about the world with ease. This natural flow of existence becomes noticeable to others, we pick up like-minded souls as friends, the law of attraction increases, supervisors increase dependency and/or promote; all these seemingly “good luck” occurrences are just a natural result of Suck embracement. Another word for this new personal attitude is effective or proactive.
A Word On Discipline
I love discipline, you could say I’m a little obsessed with it. Let me explain a bit about the personal disciplines I use on a daily basis.
- I almost always wake up by 3:40am.
- Sleeping-in for me means 5am, year-round.
- I take regular uncomfortable and shocking cold showers.
- Every day begins with meditation and worship of my deity.
- Each meal I eat is measured to the gram or to the cup and I track every macronutrient.
- No day is complete without at least one hour of difficult bodyweight training and cardio.
- I use self-denial for foods I want to eat because I am the boss, not the tongue.
Why live this way? Because it is hard. It’s not the easy, comfortable or quick moments in life that build long-lasting character. It is the hard, uncomfortable pressure in hot-house conditions that molds us into great men. Making our own private lives that much more challenging will make the outside world a breeze, a game to be played with an upper-hand.
“We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”
John F. kennedy
Embracing the suck means dealing with all the crap life has to offer with a smile. It means digging down deep inside our hidden courage reserves and pulling out each morsel so we can live another day. When the process is regular our willpower grows—we actually have more than we started with. Taking from our will is not like withdrawing money from a bank; after a while you would be fully depleted and depressed, unable to go on. When we use our willpower on a regular basis our reserves actually increase. Each task done better than expected builds more strength and more courage to face a slightly more difficult experience.
Inherent Stoic Values
The trouble starts when we aren’t aware of negative reactions to hard times. By clinging to hardships with regret or remorse, wondering why bad things happen to you, nothing is accomplish or learned. We take no wisdom away from the situation. Not everything is going to be shiny and perfect even when you embrace the suck, and the point is that it doesn’t have to be. Eventually you will be able to keep going and stand back up after taking that right-hook from life. It is not that these moments will never happen, on the contrary they have too, we just aren’t hesitant about moving forward. We then begin to fully embrace the suck as we drudge through life’s sticky and painful situations.
Never feel sorry for yourself. There shouldn’t be a glimpse of sadness in your mental capacity. When the suck of life comes you just have to bear down and plan your next move. This is a perfect moment for an affirmation to get you by. One of my thoughts during tough times is remembering the fact that I am making changes in life and making powerful moves rather then just keeping quiet and not making a sound or bothering anyone. Making a difference in your life is going to become obvious to others at some point. Eventually someone will notice a different routine or attitude and immediately project their fears and insecurities on you. Your doing good, keep going regardless of the haters.
The Sucks Footsoldiers
Why are there haters? Well, you should know since you and I were once haters of something, or someone, at sometime in our lives. That fact might be a little embarrassing, but it is true if you look back far enough. There was a time in our past that we didn’t fully support someone we knew, or perhaps didn’t even know, because they were succeeding at a faster rate then we were. Maybe we doubted them secretly or maybe we even told them they couldn’t sustain the pace. Being a hater is just a natural part of growing up and feeling jealousy. The key is to let haters have their doubts without letting it disturb your vision.
He who takes his orders gladly, escapes the bitterest part of slavery—doing what one does not want to do. The man who does something under orders is not unhappy; he is unhappy who does something against his will. Let us therefore so set our minds in order that we may desire whatever is demanded of us by circumstances, and above all that we may reflect upon our end without sadness.
Embracing the External and Internal Suck
Mastery comes when the Suck no longer takes our cool from us. Sure, we may react to a situation beyond what was needed, but the master can reel himself back within seconds. A few key words in an overextended discussion can be, “Let me clarify,” “What I mean is,” “I agree, but I’m still seeing it from this perspective,” “You have a lot of experience in this area, what do you think about this?”
We can use language to disagree and install our point to our supervisors or loved ones diplomatically. The challenge comes when we give the other person no oxygen at all, or little space to also put their view in perspective. Letting people know they matter and that you are listening, not necessarily agreeing, makes a huge difference in interpersonal communication.
Challenges are not based on people alone, but when they come from ourselves—our vices or weaknesses—we don’t need to include anyone else or whine/mull about it. Embracing the challenge in those situations requires practice with our willpower, mantras or affirmations to turn our mind around, maybe even a support group that focuses not on the problem but on cleaning up every other area of life. From my experience though, true embracement of personal issues is finally resolved in the chambers of our own wisdom. Rarely will an external influence give us capacity to complete something. In almost every situation where no one else is needed, we must cross the finish line alone.